A Senior's Guide to (Not) Surviving Freshman Year

It’s the day all people have to go through and most people dread: the first day of high school. Picture this: it’s 6:00 am, and you are getting yourself ready. So many thoughts are running through your head. What am I going to wear? Should I pack a lunch or buy lunch? Should my mom or dad bring me to school? The thoughts keep spinning and spinning. You don’t want to do the wrong thing. All you want to do is fit in and make it through the first couple of days. I am here to tell you how to survive the first day of your freshman year with these four easy steps that will guarantee success. 

The first step to surviving the most frightening day of your life is to make sure you have both of your parents bring you to school. In order for the drop-off to go as planned, be sure to have your parents make a sign to stick on the car saying you're a freshman. You want to make sure everybody knows that you're fresh meat. If you really want to seal the deal, have your parents drive you to the very front of the school so they can make sure you make it in okay. After they drop you off, make sure you have them yell how much they love you out the window. People love to know that your parents love you and that you're their precious cargo. That’ll get people to talk all about how cool you are. They are all going to want to be your friend. The second step to surviving freshman year is to have your hangout spot near or on the senior bench. If you want to fit in and make friends, this is the way to do it. When you see people staring at you sitting there, just know they are doing it because they admire your bravery. This bravery will show them that you are not someone they want to mess with. People always say that seniors scare the freshman, but how about being different and making the seniors scared of you? Important tip! If a senior comes up to you and tells you to get off the bench because you're a freshman, just tell them no and continue to sit there. To survive, you have to assert your dominance over everyone. 

The third step in this process is to use the hallways to stop and talk to your friends. If you really want to survive, stop directly in the middle of the hallway and stand there while it is a passing period. During passing periods is the best time to do this because the hallways are the most chaotic, and all your friends are there. Wouldn’t want to be in anyone’s way, you know? To add something even more helpful to this part of the day, make sure you walk as slowly as you want in the hallways when everyone is trying to get to class. Who cares if it makes everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, late for class? All that matters is that you are enjoying your walk to your next class. 

The fourth and final step in this survival process is to talk in the hallways when classes are in session. Sometimes, you’ve got to take a break from class and walk in the hallways, so you might as well bring a friend and talk. The louder you are, the better, because why wouldn't you want everyone to hear what you're saying? You know that what you're talking about is so interesting when teachers shut their classroom doors. You wouldn't want all of your peers to hear the secrets you're blabbing about. 

The relief you will feel after you’ve made it through your first few days of freshman year is amazing. I can assure you that if you follow these four steps, your freshman year is going to be a breeze. Everyone will love you, especially the teachers, and will want to be your friend, which will make your whole high school experience that much better. I hope that all of these tips help you. Have a great freshman year! 

Sincerely, 

Your senior mentor